Tuesday, June 23, 2009

I've got a date with the night

I think OK became something deeper. I suppose late night chatting (guess with who?) and listening to Yann Tiersen helped. As far as music is concerned, I think that nobody will ever understand its power. Apathy, then music and then feelings. And the best time for music is night, for sure. When around you the silence prevails on everything, and you perceive and feel more than usually. Emotions, noises, thoughts, atmosphere, they're all amplified. In the dark, moreover, you can be whoever you want. It's magic. If it wasn't, why do everything look better in the night? Situations, problems, people. And if it wasn't, there wouldn't be this big detachment between night and day. The day after a party, a gig or a special moment in general, the night seems so far away. Like you just dreamt all. It's all over, and you have to deal with real life, you forgot all. Night is precious, I think we shouldn't waste it. And that's why I'm writing here at 2 AM, so that my night thoughts won't fade.

I don't know where I am but I know it's alright
I don't know anyone around here but I'm safe this time
I don't care where I am but I know it's alright
I jumped the tracks I can't get back but I'm safe this time
'Cause when you tell me stupid things like you do,
I have to change the rules,
I can't lose
Cause I shiver, I just break up,
When I'm near you it all gets out of hand
Yes I shiver, I get pent up,
There's no way that I know you'll understand

We talk and talk, around it all,
How'd we end up here
I'm in a rush, if I'd only stop,
And take my time
Cause with you, I'm running somewhere I can't get to,
Yes I have to change the rules,I'm with you

Cause I shiver, I just break up,
When I'm near you it all gets out of hand
Yes I shiver, I get pent up,
There's no way that I know you'll understand

If I never saw you again,
Could I keep all this inside?
If I never saw you again,
Could I keep all this inside?

Because I shiver, I just break up,
When I'm near you it all gets out of hand
Yes I shiver, I get pent up,
There's no way that I know you'll understand.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oj-VXy_YF-8 Check out Maximo park's amazing version of Shiver by Natalie Imbruglia! You won't regret it.

Mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head

It's the word that sums up my day.
It's been OK.
OK is not that bad, not that good.
It means no extremes.

What the hell should I do to be happy, or just joyful?
Probably I'd prefer being desperate or mad at someone,
rather than feeling this apathy.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Late night depression plus some chung

Ok, the fashion blog-thing seems really hard to carry out.
Moreover, nobody is reading this blog.. So I guess I can write anything :)
Today was better than yesterday, no doubts. I woke up quite early, had a delicious breakfast with new (yummy!) cereals, took a long shower, had lunch with my sister and went out with my BFF, looking for some books. I went out tonight, too, and had a great time with my friends. We had some ice cream, attempted to buy cigarettes from a fucking machine (I hated it!) and strolled in the park, chatting and being not so serious. I went home and chatted with a friend, well, not an ordinary friend, but who cares. I suppose the word is quite appropriate, now. He's the one I wrote about in the first post, and then again when I was angry. I really can't get over him (I don't wanna get over you-Magnetic Fields- go listen to it!). Everytime I talk to him, I realize I can't forget him. Every conversation includes laughing, reading brillant things, smiling for the funny words he uses, being amused. Tonight he reminded me of some nights ago, when we met at a concert and I didn't say hello to him. I saw it but did nothing. I know, it's stupid but I really wanted to talk with him, even for little time, but it's not that easy! I saw him and
sono precipitata nella solita dimensione parallela
qualcosa dentro di me ha iniziato a muoversi
ho provato una sensazione assurda
volevo scappare e allo stesso tempo correre da lui
si è fermato tutto per un attimo
I invented an excuse, like "I saw you but our eyes didn't meet so I didn't have the chance to", which is half the truth, but he replied that I knew it wasn't true. What the hell did he mean? I understood it perfectly, but I can't understand why he wanted me to say hello to him. I know, we're friends. But it's not so important! Am I important to him? Am I nothing to him? Why can't I get rid of him? And above all, why I don't wanna do it?

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Dreaming about the perfect summer

mhm. This was supposed to be a fashion blog, but it turned out to be a sort of diary.
Anyway! Today nothing happened. Really, nothing! I stayed home and watched a film (Good girl, with Jennifer Aniston and the usual Jake Something), dedicated myself to crosswords and videoclips and blogs and ice cream. Exciting, eh?
I'd better plan something to do tomorrow or I'll kill myself! I love these lazy days during the year, but in the summer.. Well, I basically hate summer. I don't really see many advantages.. Yes, no school. Yes, holidays and trips abroad. And then? Horrible weather, people sweating, laziness, boredom, lots of things you'd like to do but you end up not doing them because of the laziness, the weather, the fact that all the ordinary actions are more tiring in the summer. I love the idea of summer in certain places, yes. I love the idea of Allie's summer (www.flickr.com/photos/alliehine), but not mine. I love the idea of lying on the beach, with the wind in my long, salty hair, taking gorgeous pictures. But my summer consists in spending a lot of time alone, in my horrible town (I swear, it's horrible. It's small and not nice at all. Moreover, I live on the outskirts and you run the risk of dying everytime you try to cross the road- too many cars!), doing nothing.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Why must I always be the one who's fooled?
I'm not your fool. And if I am, I won't be anymore.
I'm fed up with you. I want you to evaporate. I don't want to see your face, to hear your words, to read your messages. Because it always end up like this.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

There's explosions in the sky

Well, the title is referring both to Explosions in the sky (check their songs, their music is amazing!) and Placebo, a band I'll always love. Brian Molko's voice, the atmosphere their songs create, their delicacy, they're all elements which make you fall in love with them. Je suis tombée amoureuse de eux !
I'm dying to see them live, but unfortunately their only italian gig this summer is in July, when I'll be in Oxford. Basically in three weeks I'll be in England, surrounded by strangers, staying in a family which I don't know at all, in a foreign city, in a foreing country. Weird? Frightening? YES. But I'm looking forward to it, both because it's an experience I won't forget, I'm sure, and because for me it's a sort of challenge with myself. I've always been kind of shy, let's see if I can get rid of this aspect! I mean, I will always be, but you can't make new friends if you're always on your own. So I guess I'll have to make an effort!

Monday, June 15, 2009

Well, holidays have actually started. And I already had some great times: last friday @Magnolia, dancing all night to Kele's music (YES! Bloc Party's vocalist!), saturday night at Tre Allegri Ragazzi Morti's gig-they were great!- but I also spent some lovely afternoons with my mother. However, I feel the sensation I was talking about last time.. Wasting time. I'm probably a bit paranoid, but still quite realistic. Should I "work" at my dad's office? He asked me to do some simple things, things that I did last year and sort of hated.. I mean, I'm talking about lots of paper documents and stuff like this to deal with. Boredom. I'd better find something better to do.. I'd enjoy being a volunteer somewhere, but it seems that there's nothing to do, even for free!
Anyway, I'm off to an ice cream with friends. Isn't there something better in summer evenings? and isn't Ali Michael stunning?
Pictures from Altamira Nyc and Tfs.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Today I have opposite feelings. I am really looking forward to holidays and the end of the school.. I want it to be over, I want to stop feeling pressure and stressing out. I want lazy days to come! I'm costantly checking flickr like this and they make me want to go out and enjoy the sun, take gorgeous photos and spending magic time. So yes, I'm expecting a lot from this holidays! On the other hand, my fears are growing.I'm afraid I'll waste time as usual, I'm afraid I'll end up lying on the sofa with the TV on. But I don't want my summer to be an endless boredom. But I really don't know what to do.. In July I'm spending three weeks in Oxford. I'm quite worried, but the excitemen prevails. But what about June and August? Should I look for a job? I can't make other holiday plans, I mean, three weeks in Oxford are enough, it's a lot of money. So maybe I should act in a responsible way and get a job. And it'd mean a way to pass time, too. And if I worked, my free time would look more precious. Now the problem is just finding this job!
Now I have to study chemistry. I don't think it's a coincidence that I write posts only when I have to study it -.- But I'll write again soon, as I have to tell you my last nights!