Thursday, October 8, 2009

The comeback

I almost miss summer. I like, no, I adore fall, its colours and its rainy weather. Its fallen leaves, its grey sky. Its days perfect for reading, its cold wind. Its frosted cheeks, its scarves. Its hot teas and chocolates served in lovely caf├ęs. Its libraries, its vintage shops. But school has started less than a month ago, and I don't feel like studying at all.. I want empty days to fill in, old films to watch, afternoons dedicated to photos, free mind. No stressing thoughts, just relax. It'd be good, wouldn't it? But I must accept the fact that holidays are over and enjoy these days as much as I can! I can't really complain about them, I'm just going to school, spending time with my friends, having a great time on amazing saturday nights, spending my spare time reading or at the computer. Quelquefois I study, but unfortunately I've got a very weak will-power! :P I just hope there'll be other lovely days for me in the next future. Sadness has, in a certain way, disappeared. Not completely, sometimes I still feel very lonely.. But I'm not so thoughtful, I'm a bit more optimistic. Sometimes I can't stand staying at home and chatting with my parents at dinner, I find it so unbearable that it often causes me headaches. The same conversations all the time, it's so annoying.. But I do enjoy talking with my mom, and I'm content with my actual friendships. Well, more than just content! I've got very few friends, but they never, never let me down. And the guys we met at the end of the summer, well, they're actually amazing! We're still hanging out together, and I must say I've laughed more with them, in the last month, than in my entire summer.
I haven't started seeing the world as a wonderful, amazing place full of graceful, honest and fantastic people. I still find it difficult to rely on them.. And drawbacks are still part of my life. But I'd be an hypocrite if I kept on repeating my life is horrible because, actually, it's not. And it doesn't matter if I sometimes feel insecure and rejected.. Who doesn't? My life is still full of beautiful things I have to dedicate time to.

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